Mayan Calendar: THIS IS THE END

So is today the final day?

Will tomorrow mark the end of the world?

NO.

From the Washington Times:

Citizens of the world, exhale. Contrary to a ballyhooed ancient Mayan prophecy that has spawned everything from Chinese doomsday cults to Hollywood special effects extravaganzas to dire warnings that Earth is on a collision course with the mystery world of Nibiru, our planet will not come to an apocalyptic finale Friday.

At least, that’s how the Mayans saw it.

“They never said it,” said Walter R.T. Witschey, a Maya researcher and professor of anthropology and science education at Longwood University in Farmville, Va. “Some of the Mesoamerican history and artifacts in that region talk about new worlds and new eras, but the people carving all these [archaeological] inscriptions really were not forecasting the end of the world at all. To the contrary, their calendar keeps right on rolling past this date.”

This much is certain: According to archaeologists and scholars, the end of a particular Mayan 5,125.37-year calendar cycle likely falls on Dec. 21. That date, in turn, has spawned something of a global pop-culture panic, a not entirely tongue-in-cheek belief that Friday will not only mark the end of the world as we know it, but also be a terrible day to drop off your dry cleaning.

...A springtime poll of more than 10,000 adults in 21 countries found that 8 percent had experienced fear or anxiety over the world ending in December, with Chinese (20 percent), Russian (13 percent) and American (12 percent) respondents being most likely to agree with the statement that the Mayan calendar “marks the end of the world.”

“In our society, there is a certain fraction of people who are doomsayers who will take their own belief that the end of the world is at hand and hang it on any convenient hook,” Mr. Witschey said. “For the Maya calendar, the rollover of this cycle is a neat hook. We also have the connection with Dec. 21, which is also the winter solstice. They’ve also conjured up an imaginary planet that is going to strike the Earth. NASA assures us that this is not going to happen.”

Indeed, NASA released an entire video Tuesday debunking the notion of a Mayan doomsday. Forward-dated Dec. 22 and titled “Why the World Didn’t End Yesterday,” it notes that none of the thousands of Mayan ruins discovered and translated by archaeologists discuss the end of the world; that contrary to speculation, the sun is not threatening to envelop the globe; that no known asteroids or comets are on a collision course with Earth; and that if Nibiru — or any other planet, for that matter — were about to slam into ours, it would be the brightest object in the sky and visible to the naked eye.

The space agency is not alone in pooh-poohing an apocalypse. Scholars of the Mayan culture — like, all of them — consider it balderdash. Even modern ethnic Mayas, who ought to know, have publicly said that the end of the calendar has nothing to do with the end of the world.

I will be so glad when this Mayan calendar thing is over. So lame.

Unfortunately, there will be other predictions of the end of the world and some people will flip out.

In any event, make plans for Saturday.

Mayan Apocalypse and NASA

NASA: Mayan apocalypse rumors a threat to depressive teens. NASA took us to space against all odds,now demoted to HS guidance counselor.

— Dennis Miller Show (@DennisDMZ) December 4, 2012

Funny, but also depressing that it has come to this.

I don't need an approaching apocalypse to feel down.

Apocalypse Now.

Once upon a time, there was a great country called America....

Black Friday Shopping Victims

Mobs and mobs of people shopping in the middle of the night, standing in lines to get in the stores and then standing in lines to check out, in some cases for hours.

Have Americans lost their minds?

It's insanity.

There's nothing normal about it.

I shopped online on WEDNESDAY, getting the "doorbusters" and free shipping, no minimum. It was great.

As far as going to the stores, I prefer shopping late rather than early. The late night hours work for me.

I did go out briefly, but long enough to see some incredibly bad parenting.

Past midnight, little kids, toddlers and infants, were being dragged around by their parents. If they weren't crying, they were slumped over in strollers, groggy and miserable.

UNBELIEVABLE!

No bargain is good enough to take your little ones out of their warm beds, out into the cold and windy night, and subject them to the shopping madness.

Twinkies: Craigslist, eBay

John Stansel of Tampa, Florida, spent $100 on Hostess snacks, hoping to turn his investment into $1000.

From the Associated Press:

Hours after Twinkie-maker Hostess announced its plans to close its doors forever, people flocked to stores to fill their shopping baskets with boxes of the cream-filled sponge cakes and their sibling snacks -- Ding Dongs, Ho Hos and Zingers.

Late Friday and Saturday, the opportunists took to the websites eBay and Craigslist. They began marketing their hoard to whimsical collectors and junk-food lovers for hundreds -- and in some cases -- thousands of dollars. That's a fat profit margin, when you consider the retail price for a box of 10 Twinkies is roughly $5.

...John Stansel of Tampa, Florida, blanches at the thought of eating a Twinkie. He's a self-described health nut.

Yet he, too, rummaged shelves late Friday at a neighborhood Walgreens and then again early Saturday at Target and a grocery store. He spent about $100 for 20 boxes of Twinkies and Ding Dongs. His goal: sell them for about $1,000 and put the money to good use.

"Maybe I will hire a personal trainer for myself or go do some shopping at Whole Foods or donate the money to a charity to fight diabetes," Stansel, 40, said. "No matter what, I figure I am getting sugar off the streets."

Stansel plans on making a big profit from his Hostess haul.

Do you believe he's going to "donate the money to a charity to fight diabetes"?

If you believe that, you'd probably be foolish enough to pay $50 for a $5 box of Twinkies.

Even funnier, Stansel, who has a "disdain for junk food," considers himself to be a health crusader.

Although he may not succeed in turning his hoard of Hostess into big bucks, he says, "No matter what, I figure I am getting sugar off the streets."

"Off the streets"?

The guy is going to SELL them. How is that getting "sugar off the streets"?

Stansel is a "self-described health nut."

I think he's a nut.